So I’m trying to buy a pair of shoes.

I have a Mastercard.

I was able to buy the shoes on the Selfridges site, but Harrods decline.

(I cancelled the Selfridges order because their postage options are crazy.)

I phone Harrods to place the order on the telephone.

I repeat – for the millionth time – the addresses and card details.

Card declined.

I log into my on-line bank to see what might be there.

Harrods have three lots of 400 GBP reserved (pending) on my account.

I presume they’ll come back in a day or so.

The very pleasent lady on the phone proposes putting me through to the shop floor to order directly.

Shop floor tells me I can only place an order if I have a Harrods Loyalty Card, or I’m calling from a land line.

I tell him I understand, and ask him to put me back through to Customer Satisfaction (or whatever their name is), as she asked to talk to me again if the order could not go through.

He tells me he cannot, as the phones on the shop floor do not provide this functionality.

So we say goodbye and we hang up because that’s all we can do.

So, no order, 1200 taken off my account for a day or two, and I lost touch with the woman who knew what was going on.